Where It All Begins

Sept. 5, 2011

Today is the conception of an idea that dropped in while I was driving around the hill country (church in the car). Later I will tell you about me; but today the focus is on an idea that dropped into me so forcefully, I couldn't help but acknowledge some Divine intervention into what is on the horizon.

A few weeks ago (again while I was driving the hill country) I felt the familiar call of change. My life has taken on a meaningless existence over the past few years. In the past, when that has happened, I am gently nudged to look outside myself while also feeling deeply within myself. What I felt was a pull to the coast...a place that can reset my body's rhythm; a place where I see God in the most tangible form. As with all major life change I am torn between what I "should" do and what I should do. See, those are two different forces...one is manmade filled the the expectations of others (self, family, work, friends, etc.)....the other is Godmade, illuminated with a Holy voice, whispering so beautiful a melody that one cannot help but get drunk in it.

Over the past week I have ravaged through all my compartments trying to get an idea of how to make this work. I don't know anyone on the coast, I'm not skilled with the talents needed to make a living (though I really want to work on a fishing boat for at least a season), I have no home at the moment (don't even have a realtor)...however, the calm in my heart tells me that all I need to do is stay intentional. I am fortunate that I am a jack of most trades (though master of none.) I can paint, I can write, I can comfort people. The last of my talents is what is forming one of my first clear images of purpose: Church on the Beach.

I do have a seminary degree and I am also a reverend through Universal Life Church (most don't take that seriously, since anyone can become one online http://www.themonastery.org/)...however, I rationalize it with the 3 years of study at seminary. I was a deacon at my church and I served on the liturgy team, consecrating communion...all of this of course before they excommunicated me from the church for asking the wrong questions and appearing as a threat to the leadership by voicing my opinions. I have been harboring much ill will toward the church; however, perhaps what is now forming in my vision is due to that experience and will help heal the needless pain. Pain will create growth, whether we go kicking and screaming or we openly surrender. (Surrender works best, though seems to initially be the hardest.)

My belief and my experience of "making things happen" is to first feel it, then visualize to the best of my human ability what would be "perfect." I use that term loosely because God's vision is so much bigger than we can even grasp or picture. However, I also believe God plants in our hearts and our minds a glimpse of what it can be...our job is to recognize the portal of Divine Movement.

So, here is my vision: Church on the Beach. My sense is that I will move to the coast within 6 months (hopefully sooner). I will have a couple of "paying" jobs like working at the local coffee shop and working as a deck hand on a fishing boat. I will also sell my paintings, and perhaps write a book. But, what seems is the driving force is hosting "church on the beach" on Sunday mornings. I expect that not many will show up at first; however, it will grow. My sense is that this is an opportunity for my faith to grow. Even if I am the only one that shows up, how lucky I would be to be surrounded by the sound of the ocean and the view of the sunrise. I'm trying to imagine me there alone giving a sermon to the fish and the birds. One of the neat pictures is tossing communion wafers up to the seagulls, so they, too are filled with the Body of Christ (though, they already are.)

I have no idea what will manifest. My job is to stay open...God's job is to direct me and create pathways for me to follow.

So, stay tuned to what is brewing....I'm excited and a little apprehensive; however, I do believe urges and desires are created within us to not only bring us pleasure, but to glorify God in ways that He needs us.